Hope is the last thing that dies

I cant walk...  I think I have cruched two blisters, one under each foot. This mean that I cant put any weight at all on either of the feet.  I hate this especially since I know that I dont have any money and I really need 5 celing fans that works and is'nt broken or chipped on the wings....


To get the temperature down in my home I need 5 fans and I will sacrifiy the lights in those rooms. But I wont sit in front of a floorstanding fan in only a tee not to get heatstroke...  Because if I get heatstroke, then it brings with it its best friend and the worst thing that can happen to me in those conditions. It brings panicattack. So sitting in front of the fan, considering suicide because of the heat, my hands cramp up and I am in complete lack of fluids. I cant move because if I do I am getting hard to breath after two minutes

I know that I need fluids and more water then a middlesized person contains. I am starting to get panic, the heart consider quitting and I am starting to feel pain in my limbs. I call the homecare nurses and ask if they can come over and see if I am dying, "It will cost you 300sek because you are not on our roster anymore.
I give up and take myself into the bedroom with the other floorfan.  And I lay there and accept that it is now I will die.


But there is hope this year and many to come.
I have a group on Facebook that I update more then anything.

We are trying to raise money so that I can get my cooler enviroment, money so that I can eat very high protein food so that I might even heal on my legs.


You could either go there and see how many wonderful people that is involved in this or stay here and keep yourself anonomous
My paypal is ingadej@gmail.com
And if everyone who is reading this or sees it on twitter or Facebook gave me only one $1 then I would be able to by fans, and continue to eat propud and Skyr and by that way raise my albuminelevel and I might even get healthy.


The day I get a bill of health then this blog will turn to be a tell all blog. I will tell the things that I dont dare to now because I am in the system but as soon as I get out.... And there will be so much more to read