OH THE JOY!!!!
I took the albuminelevels on wednesday and I got the result today! It is the highest I have had in six years!!!!!
30!!!!!!!! I have 30!!!!!
That means that my experiment with the propud works!!!!
Yes I am so happy for this that I can hardly feel the pain of my new and old blisters.
fredag 15 april 2016
torsdag 14 april 2016
Hope is the last thing that dies
I cant walk... I think I have cruched two blisters, one under each foot. This mean that I cant put any weight at all on either of the feet. I hate this especially since I know that I dont have any money and I really need 5 celing fans that works and is'nt broken or chipped on the wings....
To get the temperature down in my home I need 5 fans and I will sacrifiy the lights in those rooms. But I wont sit in front of a floorstanding fan in only a tee not to get heatstroke... Because if I get heatstroke, then it brings with it its best friend and the worst thing that can happen to me in those conditions. It brings panicattack. So sitting in front of the fan, considering suicide because of the heat, my hands cramp up and I am in complete lack of fluids. I cant move because if I do I am getting hard to breath after two minutes
I know that I need fluids and more water then a middlesized person contains. I am starting to get panic, the heart consider quitting and I am starting to feel pain in my limbs. I call the homecare nurses and ask if they can come over and see if I am dying, "It will cost you 300sek because you are not on our roster anymore.
I give up and take myself into the bedroom with the other floorfan. And I lay there and accept that it is now I will die.
But there is hope this year and many to come.
I have a group on Facebook that I update more then anything.
We are trying to raise money so that I can get my cooler enviroment, money so that I can eat very high protein food so that I might even heal on my legs.
You could either go there and see how many wonderful people that is involved in this or stay here and keep yourself anonomous
My paypal is ingadej@gmail.com
And if everyone who is reading this or sees it on twitter or Facebook gave me only one $1 then I would be able to by fans, and continue to eat propud and Skyr and by that way raise my albuminelevel and I might even get healthy.
The day I get a bill of health then this blog will turn to be a tell all blog. I will tell the things that I dont dare to now because I am in the system but as soon as I get out.... And there will be so much more to read
To get the temperature down in my home I need 5 fans and I will sacrifiy the lights in those rooms. But I wont sit in front of a floorstanding fan in only a tee not to get heatstroke... Because if I get heatstroke, then it brings with it its best friend and the worst thing that can happen to me in those conditions. It brings panicattack. So sitting in front of the fan, considering suicide because of the heat, my hands cramp up and I am in complete lack of fluids. I cant move because if I do I am getting hard to breath after two minutes
I know that I need fluids and more water then a middlesized person contains. I am starting to get panic, the heart consider quitting and I am starting to feel pain in my limbs. I call the homecare nurses and ask if they can come over and see if I am dying, "It will cost you 300sek because you are not on our roster anymore.
I give up and take myself into the bedroom with the other floorfan. And I lay there and accept that it is now I will die.
But there is hope this year and many to come.
I have a group on Facebook that I update more then anything.
We are trying to raise money so that I can get my cooler enviroment, money so that I can eat very high protein food so that I might even heal on my legs.
You could either go there and see how many wonderful people that is involved in this or stay here and keep yourself anonomous
My paypal is ingadej@gmail.com
And if everyone who is reading this or sees it on twitter or Facebook gave me only one $1 then I would be able to by fans, and continue to eat propud and Skyr and by that way raise my albuminelevel and I might even get healthy.
The day I get a bill of health then this blog will turn to be a tell all blog. I will tell the things that I dont dare to now because I am in the system but as soon as I get out.... And there will be so much more to read
onsdag 13 april 2016
Mistakes mistakes and Why did they chose today to listen to me?!?
I am in so much pain that it is ridiculous. The nurses had no idea what to do with the blisters and I came up with the marvelous idea that they have to dry out right?
And so does my wounds. So why not use the same thing that they are using on my legs at the blisters?!?
Well, now I can tell you that it is because it is so strong stuff that it burns.
I really should have known that it was going to burn with the caliumbath because that feels like someone holds a zippolighter on my legs while I am standing in a fireant pile.
So I cried.... Badly... I did'nt stop until about 30 minutes after I had come home and stripped off the civilisation clothing, the clothing I can show myself in puplic in... (What is sad about that then your stupid twat?)
Well I will tell you... I dont have anything else then the tee and skirt to wear because nothing fits.
And I get cranky when I have been sleeping beside the stove for about a week..
I sit here, listen to my favorite creepypastas and dose off with the cigarette in my hands... So during the time that I am out like a light I burn stuff mostly my ciggaretts.
But tonight I have to lay in the bed.... I just have to...
But cortisone on blisters is a really bad idea. Good night //Veronica Jonsson
And so does my wounds. So why not use the same thing that they are using on my legs at the blisters?!?
Well, now I can tell you that it is because it is so strong stuff that it burns.
I really should have known that it was going to burn with the caliumbath because that feels like someone holds a zippolighter on my legs while I am standing in a fireant pile.
So I cried.... Badly... I did'nt stop until about 30 minutes after I had come home and stripped off the civilisation clothing, the clothing I can show myself in puplic in... (What is sad about that then your stupid twat?)
Well I will tell you... I dont have anything else then the tee and skirt to wear because nothing fits.
And I get cranky when I have been sleeping beside the stove for about a week..
I sit here, listen to my favorite creepypastas and dose off with the cigarette in my hands... So during the time that I am out like a light I burn stuff mostly my ciggaretts.
But tonight I have to lay in the bed.... I just have to...
But cortisone on blisters is a really bad idea. Good night //Veronica Jonsson
Oh what a pain....
Just came home from redressing and it was not fun at all.... I have blisters under my feet and my first thought was to dry them out asap.. So I had them to let them stew in the caliumbath that I have on my legs for a while until they could put cortisone on them. You want to know something? Cortisone hurts really bad.
After that we covered them with bandages. It was'nt before I stood up that I realized that we could not cover them as much as we had. I cant put any weight on theall and if we dont care for them now I will have feet full of wounds. So the woman who helped me up the stairs helped to get the elastic away from the left foot and I dont know what to do with the right one but I think that if one is free then we can do the left when the right one is healed.
I am so tired that I fall asleep by the stove again... I have'nt thrown away one empty pack of cigarettes that have'nt had burnmarks. I am just happy that I have'nt been more asleep as I have... Thank you stresslevel 1000....
Now I am going to get me some fluids and then go to the bed.
So tired...
After that we covered them with bandages. It was'nt before I stood up that I realized that we could not cover them as much as we had. I cant put any weight on theall and if we dont care for them now I will have feet full of wounds. So the woman who helped me up the stairs helped to get the elastic away from the left foot and I dont know what to do with the right one but I think that if one is free then we can do the left when the right one is healed.
I am so tired that I fall asleep by the stove again... I have'nt thrown away one empty pack of cigarettes that have'nt had burnmarks. I am just happy that I have'nt been more asleep as I have... Thank you stresslevel 1000....
Now I am going to get me some fluids and then go to the bed.
So tired...
tisdag 12 april 2016
Bright light insomnia
The sun seems to have decided to come early this year and by so giving me insomnia big time.
My three bedroom windows is were it raises.
The hobbyarea, kitchen and the first three windows is were it stays all through the day and it sets in the last three if it sets at all....
Some thinks that daylight the whole day is a great idea....
I dont. I want darkness while you are supposed to be sleeping.
This gets worse every year and I dont know how to handle the sun and the heat..
Welcome weather from hell.... I can bet that I will be admitted again this summer.
Talk to you later ❤💞
My three bedroom windows is were it raises.
The hobbyarea, kitchen and the first three windows is were it stays all through the day and it sets in the last three if it sets at all....
Some thinks that daylight the whole day is a great idea....
I dont. I want darkness while you are supposed to be sleeping.
This gets worse every year and I dont know how to handle the sun and the heat..
Welcome weather from hell.... I can bet that I will be admitted again this summer.
Talk to you later ❤💞
That evil lamp in the sky
I just hope that they understand how sick I get by heat and sun this year so I can stay at home .... The summer two years ago it was the worst summer heatwise since the -70. I had been out since late may and in june I started to fall asleep everywere (Kinda like I do now) I got sicker and sicker so I begged my doctor to admit me to the hospital... I got worse and worse and finally, in the beginning of july I got admitted.
I had a fan but that was it... They needed the AC's for the rooms that got the sun right into the rooms.
I could not go to the toilet without getting a heatstroke, and with that I got panicattacks so I just sat infront of the fan, falling asleep and not being able to move because then I got overheated...
Last summer I was admitted already so I got to be very popular because I had the coolest room on the floor.
In the fall I wanted to keep it, I was still getting hot... So I slept with the windows open and everyone was suddenly cold. I brought in some patient cardigans for the staff to wear..... I was actually doing that because they did'nt want to be in my right and talk to me because it was chilly. But I loved the temperature because it was so great to feel anything else then hot and sticky.
I lost all the visits from the hospital staff because it was chilly and I did cry.
If I did'nt have any care of my health then I would take a blanket and lay in the sun as soon as the ground is dry.... Might be a great way to get it all over with.... They are always telling me that I need more sun and how lovely it is to be outside, laying in the sun and sometimes even fall asleep on the grass...
So if I did the normal thing then they have to take me serious when they come in with me with a heatstroke that actually has made me unconsious.... That should make them understand the fan/AC need that I have becose it gets worse and worse every year.... So I dont know if I can get any help until I get admitted again because of rotting....
I have already started to get blisters all over... Mostly under the feet...
I had a fan but that was it... They needed the AC's for the rooms that got the sun right into the rooms.
I could not go to the toilet without getting a heatstroke, and with that I got panicattacks so I just sat infront of the fan, falling asleep and not being able to move because then I got overheated...
Last summer I was admitted already so I got to be very popular because I had the coolest room on the floor.
In the fall I wanted to keep it, I was still getting hot... So I slept with the windows open and everyone was suddenly cold. I brought in some patient cardigans for the staff to wear..... I was actually doing that because they did'nt want to be in my right and talk to me because it was chilly. But I loved the temperature because it was so great to feel anything else then hot and sticky.
I lost all the visits from the hospital staff because it was chilly and I did cry.
If I did'nt have any care of my health then I would take a blanket and lay in the sun as soon as the ground is dry.... Might be a great way to get it all over with.... They are always telling me that I need more sun and how lovely it is to be outside, laying in the sun and sometimes even fall asleep on the grass...
So if I did the normal thing then they have to take me serious when they come in with me with a heatstroke that actually has made me unconsious.... That should make them understand the fan/AC need that I have becose it gets worse and worse every year.... So I dont know if I can get any help until I get admitted again because of rotting....
I have already started to get blisters all over... Mostly under the feet...
The joy of a clean home
Now. Exactly now. When the cats are calm and have'nt been spreading the litter everywere, there is no dishes and the bed is clean, including the Pillow Mountain that I keep my legs on is clean and higher, I added four pillows any more and I will need a bigger sheetcover.
Everything smells of flowers and I am so grateful that I got this help.
You see, some people with aspergers does'nt pick up the mail for weeks, I always find something else to do plus I Cant go with a vacuumecleaner or a mop. To much pain.
Regarding the pain my doctor have had two weeks to decide.... I will ask his wife tomorrow if it is a usual time or if it is just me... She should know.
I did'nt get to bed until 10.25 am today, thankfully I got two hours of sleeping in the bed before the homeservices came.
I spent the night and early morning sleeping folded up on my chair...
So now I am going to learn a new technique for battle of the Beadsmith entry.
I am fully awake that it is a really stupid move but the technique is so versetile that I cant not use it.
But just right in this moment I have to get some Sleep
I 'll be back
Everything smells of flowers and I am so grateful that I got this help.
You see, some people with aspergers does'nt pick up the mail for weeks, I always find something else to do plus I Cant go with a vacuumecleaner or a mop. To much pain.
Regarding the pain my doctor have had two weeks to decide.... I will ask his wife tomorrow if it is a usual time or if it is just me... She should know.
I did'nt get to bed until 10.25 am today, thankfully I got two hours of sleeping in the bed before the homeservices came.
I spent the night and early morning sleeping folded up on my chair...
So now I am going to learn a new technique for battle of the Beadsmith entry.
I am fully awake that it is a really stupid move but the technique is so versetile that I cant not use it.
But just right in this moment I have to get some Sleep
I 'll be back
måndag 11 april 2016
Is it really half won?
If you try to get some help with a lifeline?
So there... I have contacted the firm that makes the protein pudding and tried to convince them to help me save my life and my legs....
I have more blisters and blisters means wounds in my personal hell.
I am pretty sure that it is more tendons up in the open.... The inside of the left leg hurts so much that I stop breathing so that I dont scream as much.
I feel embaressed to scare people just because I cant control myself.
I really hope that I can get help with the money for the celing fans... If I had been smarter then I am I would have thought of those earlier..
Well well... Cross our fingers that there is a rich prince left....
So there... I have contacted the firm that makes the protein pudding and tried to convince them to help me save my life and my legs....
I have more blisters and blisters means wounds in my personal hell.
I am pretty sure that it is more tendons up in the open.... The inside of the left leg hurts so much that I stop breathing so that I dont scream as much.
I feel embaressed to scare people just because I cant control myself.
I really hope that I can get help with the money for the celing fans... If I had been smarter then I am I would have thought of those earlier..
Well well... Cross our fingers that there is a rich prince left....
söndag 10 april 2016
Showing off
I wanted to show you one of the things my good friend found while searching for proteinfilled food or snacks.
She found Icelandic youghurt, cottage cheese and these
Protein pudding propud for short
I really love them and hopefully I will get better albuminelevels next time they take the test.
My whole life turns around the wounds and the pain and the heat that will come... I am so sick of it so today I got my beads up and started on a petalshape that is comming from Cath Thomas and I think I have gone dence since I dared to pick the beads up.
But I will not give up, but dont ask me how many rows I have made because then it gets tricky
The pain from the tendons are huge and that from a woman who walked around with a wound covering the whole leg and in the middle of it there was three holes, the deepest I could feel bone through when cleaning it for redressing. I took paracetamol and asprin to help with the pain....
Now you might understand that when I tell you that I am in pain then I am really in pain.
Talk to you later
She found Icelandic youghurt, cottage cheese and these
Protein pudding propud for short
My whole life turns around the wounds and the pain and the heat that will come... I am so sick of it so today I got my beads up and started on a petalshape that is comming from Cath Thomas and I think I have gone dence since I dared to pick the beads up.
But I will not give up, but dont ask me how many rows I have made because then it gets tricky
The pain from the tendons are huge and that from a woman who walked around with a wound covering the whole leg and in the middle of it there was three holes, the deepest I could feel bone through when cleaning it for redressing. I took paracetamol and asprin to help with the pain....
Now you might understand that when I tell you that I am in pain then I am really in pain.
Talk to you later
tisdag 5 april 2016
I am at home! Life can start to be lived now
I actually got to go back home! I am so frecking tired now so I am happy that I have two free days ahead of me.
I found out that the tendon on the back of my leg also is in the air but the only thing that can be done is a transplant and I am to infected and have to much problems with that treatment.
I went up to the ward I layed in for more then a year and visited, they have been missing me and we just kept on talking like I never left.
I was there one year and one month straight so we got that family feeling.
The surgeon got alot of wormpoo gone from my legs so that was a good thing.
I found out that the tendon on the back of my leg also is in the air but the only thing that can be done is a transplant and I am to infected and have to much problems with that treatment.
I went up to the ward I layed in for more then a year and visited, they have been missing me and we just kept on talking like I never left.
I was there one year and one month straight so we got that family feeling.
The surgeon got alot of wormpoo gone from my legs so that was a good thing.
måndag 4 april 2016
Changes and a little hope....
I am going to write on this blog more now so that everyone who wants to find out how capitalism kills the healthcare in this country.
I will be sad, happy, show you what I love and who ofc.
The days when it is just to dark I will probably not write anything.
I will keep you updated and translate my diarys on here.
In the last post you can see my tendon out in the open. I thought it was nervclusters but Oh how wrong I was.
I am wired and tired, I was up to 9 am yesterday and now it is past 4am and I should really go to bed but I have'nt been able to lay down as much as I am supposed to do because it hurts like h**l to let the foot relax and fall asleep...
I am supposed to go to the hospital today because the surgeons wants to see my wounds...
I am so scared about that... I can just hear her saying that they are going to take skin from my thighs again and transplant it to my left leg and cover the tendon.
The fear is based in the fact that I got hypergranulations on my thighs, it was what kept me three extra months in hospital the first time and if it is a warm summer then I will rot and the transplanted skin will fall off like it did two summers ago.
Now I am going to try to go to bed... I will write here as often as I possibly can and I will keep you updated.
It was the thought when I started this blog but the life, with hospitalstays and a life that just went out of control stopped me
I have now realized that this blog is what will save me.
Talk to you later
I will be sad, happy, show you what I love and who ofc.
The days when it is just to dark I will probably not write anything.
I will keep you updated and translate my diarys on here.
In the last post you can see my tendon out in the open. I thought it was nervclusters but Oh how wrong I was.
I am wired and tired, I was up to 9 am yesterday and now it is past 4am and I should really go to bed but I have'nt been able to lay down as much as I am supposed to do because it hurts like h**l to let the foot relax and fall asleep...
I am supposed to go to the hospital today because the surgeons wants to see my wounds...
I am so scared about that... I can just hear her saying that they are going to take skin from my thighs again and transplant it to my left leg and cover the tendon.
The fear is based in the fact that I got hypergranulations on my thighs, it was what kept me three extra months in hospital the first time and if it is a warm summer then I will rot and the transplanted skin will fall off like it did two summers ago.
Now I am going to try to go to bed... I will write here as often as I possibly can and I will keep you updated.
It was the thought when I started this blog but the life, with hospitalstays and a life that just went out of control stopped me
I have now realized that this blog is what will save me.
Talk to you later
What lays beneath
My tendon is open so my life outside of the hospital might be very short since I have a meeting with the surgeon tomorrow.
I really hope that the nurse that will go there with me will be good enough to talk them into letting me stay at home.
I wont handle another trip to the hospital... I am done.
I have never been this close to get a real outburst, I have been holding it in my whole adult life but the surgeons are treating me so bad that I feel the rage boiling when they talk over my head and treats me like I am retarded...
So wish me luck...
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