Heatwave update

I am still alive and it is summer and I am Not In Hospital!!!!! If blogger liked iPhone I could show you how it looks right now.

I have lost the tendon on the front of my left chin, I cant lift the foot from the floor unless I lift the whole leg. I am in risk to lose the one on the inside of the leg as well.
But the wounds on the lower legs have gotten better. That is a woohoo moment. But now I have 3 wounds on my right thigh. It is the same bacteria that I had on my lower legs.
Pseudomonas....
I truly hope that we caught these fast enough. So I wont get as sick as I were when I almost died thanks to my then doctor and nurse. I hope they know that I will file a report agaist them as soon as I have gotten well.

If you want to help me since I am always in a Financial hell.
My paypal is ingadej@gmail.com
and every amount counts.
I cant put up a gofundme account since I dont have an bankaccount in another country that is covered  by gofundme.

Anyhow, I guess that was that for now.
I can tell you that my chronic depression has gotten company from my seasonal depression. Yes, I know that it is more common that get depressed when the darkness comes, I am the complete opposite as usual.
But I have never claimed to be normal.

Have a great summer
Love//Veronica

No fight left in me....

I was at the surgeons Office this morning. I am falling apart... I guess alot can be blamed on the fact that I am so stressed by social services that I cant sleep during the night... I guess I can nap because then I'm not avalible and cant get more stressed... I am in pain.
I cant sleep.
Social services tells me that I am stressing them regarding the fans, they have only had since september to get me the fans that the doctors have told them And written 2 (two) notices to them about so that I dont have to get admitted again because I am rotting in the heat.


If social services just tells me to kill myself I would probably do. I dont have any fight in me anymore.

Nasty pics of my legs and how they look today

So this is how they look today. It is about an hour since I took them so they are fresh.
The hypergranulations (those red dots that is in the wounds) hurts like hell and I just want to scream.
The tendon is also a problem since it has gone out a bit more from the cover of the skin. I am pooped and just want to get something to eat and then sleep for a good while, and hope that I dont leak as much during the weekend as I did from wednesday until today. The nurse actually asked if I had dipped my right leg in a bucket of water, that is how much I had leaked. I was pruning and cold...  That is one of the reasons that I really dont want to leak.
I dont want to be sick
I wanted to use the time to find out why I bleed so much if I had a cycle so that I had the possibility to get a child
I dont want to be lonely and unloved
I want to have a life

So let me know when all of this is over so that I can skip the loneliness and pain.

The best result in six years!!!!

OH THE JOY!!!!
I took the albuminelevels on wednesday and I got the result today!  It is the highest I have had in six years!!!!!
30!!!!!!!! I have 30!!!!!

That means that my experiment with the propud works!!!!

Yes I am so happy for this that I can hardly feel the pain of my new and old blisters.

Hope is the last thing that dies

I cant walk...  I think I have cruched two blisters, one under each foot. This mean that I cant put any weight at all on either of the feet.  I hate this especially since I know that I dont have any money and I really need 5 celing fans that works and is'nt broken or chipped on the wings....


To get the temperature down in my home I need 5 fans and I will sacrifiy the lights in those rooms. But I wont sit in front of a floorstanding fan in only a tee not to get heatstroke...  Because if I get heatstroke, then it brings with it its best friend and the worst thing that can happen to me in those conditions. It brings panicattack. So sitting in front of the fan, considering suicide because of the heat, my hands cramp up and I am in complete lack of fluids. I cant move because if I do I am getting hard to breath after two minutes

I know that I need fluids and more water then a middlesized person contains. I am starting to get panic, the heart consider quitting and I am starting to feel pain in my limbs. I call the homecare nurses and ask if they can come over and see if I am dying, "It will cost you 300sek because you are not on our roster anymore.
I give up and take myself into the bedroom with the other floorfan.  And I lay there and accept that it is now I will die.


But there is hope this year and many to come.
I have a group on Facebook that I update more then anything.

We are trying to raise money so that I can get my cooler enviroment, money so that I can eat very high protein food so that I might even heal on my legs.


You could either go there and see how many wonderful people that is involved in this or stay here and keep yourself anonomous
My paypal is ingadej@gmail.com
And if everyone who is reading this or sees it on twitter or Facebook gave me only one $1 then I would be able to by fans, and continue to eat propud and Skyr and by that way raise my albuminelevel and I might even get healthy.


The day I get a bill of health then this blog will turn to be a tell all blog. I will tell the things that I dont dare to now because I am in the system but as soon as I get out.... And there will be so much more to read

Mistakes mistakes and Why did they chose today to listen to me?!?

I am in so much pain that it is ridiculous. The nurses had no idea what to do with the blisters and I came up with the marvelous idea that they have to dry out right?

And so does my wounds. So why not use the same thing that they are using on my legs at the blisters?!?

Well, now I can tell you that it is because it is so strong stuff that it burns.
I really should have known that it was going to burn with the caliumbath because that feels like someone holds a zippolighter on my legs while I am standing in a fireant pile.

So I cried....  Badly... I did'nt stop until about 30 minutes after I had come home and stripped off the civilisation clothing, the clothing I can show myself in puplic in...  (What is sad about that then your stupid twat?)
Well I will tell you...  I dont have anything else then the tee and skirt to wear because nothing fits.


And I get cranky when I have been sleeping beside the stove for about a week..
I sit here, listen to my favorite creepypastas and dose off with the cigarette in my hands...  So during the time that I am out like a light I burn stuff mostly my ciggaretts.
But tonight I have to lay in the bed....  I just have to...

But cortisone on blisters is a really bad idea. Good night //Veronica Jonsson

Oh what a pain....

Just came home from redressing and it was not fun at all.... I have blisters under my feet and my first thought was to dry them out asap.. So I had them to let them stew in the caliumbath that I have on my legs for a while until they could put cortisone on them. You want to know something?  Cortisone hurts really bad.

After that we covered them with bandages. It was'nt before I stood up that I realized that we could not cover them as much as we had. I cant put any weight on theall and if we dont care for them now I will have feet full of wounds. So the woman who helped me up the stairs helped to get the elastic away from the left foot and I dont know what to do with the right one but I think that if one is free then we can do the left when the right one is healed.

I am so tired that I fall asleep by the stove again...  I have'nt thrown away one empty pack of cigarettes that have'nt had burnmarks. I am just happy that I have'nt been more asleep as I have...  Thank you stresslevel 1000....
Now I am going to get me some fluids and then go to the bed.

So tired...