No fight left in me....

I was at the surgeons Office this morning. I am falling apart... I guess alot can be blamed on the fact that I am so stressed by social services that I cant sleep during the night... I guess I can nap because then I'm not avalible and cant get more stressed... I am in pain.
I cant sleep.
Social services tells me that I am stressing them regarding the fans, they have only had since september to get me the fans that the doctors have told them And written 2 (two) notices to them about so that I dont have to get admitted again because I am rotting in the heat.


If social services just tells me to kill myself I would probably do. I dont have any fight in me anymore.

Nasty pics of my legs and how they look today

So this is how they look today. It is about an hour since I took them so they are fresh.
The hypergranulations (those red dots that is in the wounds) hurts like hell and I just want to scream.
The tendon is also a problem since it has gone out a bit more from the cover of the skin. I am pooped and just want to get something to eat and then sleep for a good while, and hope that I dont leak as much during the weekend as I did from wednesday until today. The nurse actually asked if I had dipped my right leg in a bucket of water, that is how much I had leaked. I was pruning and cold...  That is one of the reasons that I really dont want to leak.
I dont want to be sick
I wanted to use the time to find out why I bleed so much if I had a cycle so that I had the possibility to get a child
I dont want to be lonely and unloved
I want to have a life

So let me know when all of this is over so that I can skip the loneliness and pain.